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Educationated

It is with great pride that I announce my latest academic achievement. That's right! The University of California, Santa Cruz has recently granted me a Masters of Fine Arts degree in Digital Arts and New Media.

In other words: Breeze got his u.c.s.c. d.a.n.m. m.f.a.

But the University hasn't actually mailed out my diploma yet. Maybe it has something to do with my sentiments towards the whole grad school experience, I don't know. Here is a quick synapses... well... OK... not-so-quick.

Members of this prestigious institution for higher education have not only shown horrendous lack of judgment by accepting me as a student, they have also dramatically lowered the university's academic standards, thus weakening the, up until now, tightly woven fabric of this establishment. Furthermore, their efforts to improve the cultural diversity of the University of California student body were brought into question by the sudden realization that  "he doesn't look Brazilian!”  (But HEY, to their credit, my records DO indicate I took E.S.L. back in February, 1990, at my short-lived educational experience at Thomas Jefferson Middle School, Teaneck, N.J.)

And so it took me two long years to realize that it didn't matter what I did, as long as I made it look hard and used multi-syllabic words to describe things about which neither I nor the so called educators had the slightest clue. My biggest mistake was actually two-fold: first I actually cared, then I actually worked hard to try to make the experience actually meaningful. Turns out Academia is a place where creativity and innovation can easily be treated (as if it were an infectious disease) with a good dose of theoretical principles, highbrow philosophy and a scientific method endorsed by Darwinian evangelists. In short, high levels of bull$#*t had to be endured in an ongoing effort to hold on to my own values and sense of decency.

Alas, now that I am a Master!  As such, I shall make the pages of this little-known website chalk-full of run-on sentences, a plethora of mispelled words, highly opinionated statements written with questionable grammar and inappropriate colloquialisms, all the while utilizing the pseudo-language of instant message acronyms, unrecognizable emoticons and and fabricated abbreviations to show complete mastery of un-PC double entendres and the less-than-witty use of puns.

Did I mention M.F.A. is a "terminal" degree?  Yes, the degree which has been bestowed opon me ACTUALLY contains a term used to describe an "active and malignant disease that cannot be cured or adequately treated."

I rest my case.